


to divide is not to take away

by shellybelle



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Insecurity, M/M, Polyamory Negotiations, Porn with Feelings, everyone just loves each other a lot but Feelings Are Hard ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-30 00:45:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11452482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shellybelle/pseuds/shellybelle
Summary: When she looks back, Caitlin can’t even remember what the fight was about, which means it was almost definitely about something stupid.(In which communication is a work in progress, and expanding a relationship is harder than expected, but that doesn't mean it's not worth it.)





	to divide is not to take away

**Author's Note:**

> me: I'M GONNA GET PAST THIS WRITER'S BLOCK BY WRITING SOMETHING SHORT AND SMUTTY  
> me, 15 pages of feelings and polyamory later: ...oops.

“ _True Love in this differs from gold and clay,_

_That to divide is not to take away.”_

\- Percy Bysshe Shelley

 

When she looks back, Caitlin can’t even remember what the fight was about, which means it was almost definitely about something stupid.

 

The problem, she reflects, sitting on the floor of March and April’s room and swirling her second cup of Misery Merlot (™) in its glass, is that they’re all athletes. So they’re all competitive, they all like to _win_ , and they all tend to get _more_ aggressive as their adrenaline goes up, not less. It’s great for games, for winning on the court--or, for Chris and Derek, on the ice--but not so much for a relationship.

 

And that’s the other problem, Caitlin thinks. She sips her wine, and pointedly ignores the way March brandishes the bottle at her, waggling her eyebrows.

 

She and Chris--they’re _used_ to each other. They don’t fight often, but when they do, they know their way around each other. They know where each other’s sore spots are, know not to press on them too hard, know _how_ to fight without hurting.

 

Adding Derek to their relationship has been amazing in every way so far, but in the sweetness and wonder (and, she can admit, sex-blindness) of the honeymoon stage, they definitely forgot to plan for when the sweetness _stopped_. Caitlin sighs, draining the rest of her glass.

 

It’s no one’s _fault_ , she knows, but she can’t help feeling like it should have been part of that whole poly negotiation thing, when they decided that the three of them should date properly instead of just flirting around each other and then Cait and Chris going off on their own to fuck off the sexual tension.

 

March cocks an eyebrow at her as Caitlin gets to her feet. “Gonna go get your man?” she teases.

 

“My _men_ ,” Caitlin corrects, slipping her phone out of her pocket. She opens her groupchat with Derek and Chris, and then hesitates, tapping out of that one and opening her chat with Chris instead, sitting back down on the floor.

 

**Cali Boy**

Hey, sunshine.

Can I call you?

 

Immediately, her phone starts buzzing. She picks up. “Hi, baby,” she says softly. March gives her a significant look and picks up the bottle of wine, ruffling Caitlin’s hair gently as she leaves the room, shutting the door behind her.

 

“Hi,” Chris says quietly. He sounds subdued, but not angry, not anymore. “I’m sorry.”

 

“I’m sorry, too.” It’s always the first thing they say after a fight. Caitlin leans against March’s bed and wraps an arm around her knees, holding her phone against her ear with her other hand. “Are you...are you okay?”

 

“Yeah. I’m okay.” He’s quiet for a moment. “Are you okay?”

 

“I’m okay.” She toys with a loose thread on the hem of her jeans. “We need to talk to Derek.”

 

“I know.” There’s a pause. When Chris speaks again, his voice is almost hesitant. “You mean to--to make things better with him, right? Not to--”

 

Caitlin’s heart clenches. “ _Yes_ ,” she says quickly. The idea of breaking up with Derek had never even crossed her mind. “Of course. I just meant--we need to talk about that fight, about how to--how to do better next time so we’re not hitting each at each other where it hurts, you know? You and me know how to do that, but with a third person we got thrown off, and then I think we almost started taking sides and that wasn’t _fair_ , and…”

 

She trails off, but Chris makes a quiet, affirming sound in her ear, and it soothes her a little. She takes a deep breath. “Where are you now?”

 

“I’m just home. You?”

 

“At the Volleyball House.”

 

He laughs softly, knowing. “Misery Merlot?”

 

“Don’t judge me, Chris Chow,” she says, a little tart, but his voice is fond, and something that’s been tight in her chest since early that afternoon when the three of them decided they had to take some space before someone said something that cut too deeply and couldn’t be taken back finally loosens. “Do you know where Derek is?”

 

“I’ll text him. Come over, and we’ll go find him together?”

 

“Yeah,” Caitlin says. “I’ll be there in ten.”

 

She puts her sweatshirt on and picks up her backpack, heading down the stairs. March and April are in the kitchen, and Caitlin gives back her wine glass. “Thanks for the wine and solidarity, Captains,” she says, smiling hesitantly.

 

“You’re welcome, baby girl,” April says. She tugs Caitlin’s hoodie string gently. “Good luck with your boys.”

 

Caitlin accepts fist-bumps from both of them, then heads out down the street to the Hockey Haus.

 

Chris is sitting on the porch when she gets there, and jumps immediately to his feet. “Hey,” he says, and folds her into a hug. Caitlin snuggles her face into his shoulder, breathing in the smell of his skin. The sweatshirt he’s wearing smells like Derek’s cologne, and she pulls away slightly.

 

“Are you wearing Derek’s hoodie?”

 

He flushes a little and turns his arm, revealing the 28 on the sleeve. She smiles and kisses his cheek. “Dork,” she says.

 

“It’s not my fault,” he says. “You have mine, and I was cold.”

 

Caitlin reaches down to lace their fingers together. “I’ll start ordering my volleyball hoodies in a large so you guys can steal them from me,” she promises, and Chris laughs softly, pressing a kiss to her hair. She squeezes his hand. “I’m sorry we fought.”

 

“I’m sorry, too.” He runs his thumb over the back of her hand, gentle and reassuring. They’ll still need to talk, she knows, but the contact is grounding, and it makes her feel warmer and safer despite the chill in the air. “Um, Derek’s at Faber. I asked Lardo if she’d heard from him and she said he asked for her keys, said he needed to skate off some energy.”

 

Caitlin nods. She’d figured he’d either be doing something athletic or writing--Derek’s go-tos for burning tension are creativity and workouts. If he went the exercise route, it would have been harder to find him, so they’re lucky Lardo had an in. “We should thank Lardo for that. Otherwise we’d be checking all his workout spots.”

 

“No kidding.” In addition to the major Athletic Center on campus, with its three weight rooms, open track, and lap pool, Derek has a tendency to just go for runs around campus. Chris nods at her backpack. “Wanna put that inside before we go?”

 

They drop her bag just inside the front door of the Haus, and walk to Faber together. The late autumn air whips Caitlin’s hair around and she makes faces at it until Chris laughs and fishes a hair elastic out of his back pocket for her. She hates the way they cut into her wrists and almost never carries them, so he’d started keeping some with him about a month into their relationship.

 

Last week, she’d been walking with Derek, and he’d done the same thing, going a step farther and gathering her hair up for her, tying it into a ponytail and then brushing the strands aside to drop a kiss to the nape of her neck. She’d taken a selfie of him pulling her hair back and snapped it to Chris with the caption, _step up ur personal stylist game_ , and he’d sent a pouting selfie to her and a frowning one to Derek, captioned _wtf stealing my tricks ruuuuuuude_.

 

She doesn’t know how to not feel _lucky_ about these ridiculous boys who love her, but she’s sure as hell not going to let either of them go anytime soon.

 

Faber is chilly as always, and Caitlin automatically draws her sweatshirt more tightly around her. Chris squeezes her hand and they head up to the rink.

 

Derek’s alone on the ice, whipping pucks into the empty goal. He’s not in his pads, his skates laced over his jeans, his jacket zipped up to his neck. Without his uniform and pads, Caitlin has a better view of the way his muscles shift as he skates and shoots, the coiled strength and power as he moves over the ice.

 

“Damn,” she says quietly, nudging Chris. “How the heck do you concentrate on the ice?”

 

Chris snorts. “Having a job helps,” he says. Derek nets a slapshot, and Chris cups his hands around his mouth and calls, “Doesn’t count without a goalie, Nursey!”

 

Derek startles and stops skating, looking up and around at them. He pulls an earbud out of one ear and yells back, “Then get your ass in the crease, Chow!”

 

“I’m skateless!”

 

“Sounds like a personal problem,” Derek says, and the teasing note in his voice sends a wave of relief through Caitlin’s neck and shoulders. He skates over to them, and as he gets closer, she can see the slight hesitance in his expression, the faint tightness around his eyes.  


Not totally okay, then.

 

He stops in front of them, leans his stick against the boards. “Hey,” he says, more quietly now.

 

“Hey,” Caitlin says, looking up at his tired eyes. He’s always taller than them, but on skates the difference is even more pronounced. She holds out a hand, and Derek pulls off one glove to take it. “Ooh, your hands are warm,” she says without thinking, pulling her other hand out of Chris’s and fitting it into Derek’s.

 

He chuckles, shifting to curl long fingers around both of her hands, squeezing. Next to her, Chris leans against the boards. Derek glances back and forth between them. “Lards told you I was here?”

 

“Saved us a scavenger hunt,” Caitlin says, smiling gently. She hesitates, and then just goes for it. “Are you okay?”

 

“I’m okay.” He looks down at their joined hands, tugs his bottom lip between his teeth for a moment, and then says, “Are _we_ okay?”

 

Chris reaches over the boards to curl a hand over Derek’s arm. “We’re okay if you’re okay,” he says.

 

Derek nods, a slow, careful movement. “I…” he hesitates. “I want to talk about it more. I didn’t like--” He breaks off.

 

Caitlin frowns. “What?”

 

He sighs. “You two kept looking at each other,” he says. “The whole time. And I don’t think you even noticed, really, but I did, and it just felt--” He shrugs a shoulder. “It felt like you had this connection and I was just trying to be heard through it. That it didn’t matter what we were fighting about or what I said, because at the end of it, you two would still be Chris-and-Cait and I’d be just…”

 

He’s not looking at them, his gaze dropped down to their joined hands, and Caitlin’s heart clenches. “Oh sweetheart,” Caitlin breathes. “Derek--”

 

“I didn’t know,” Chris says. She glances at him. He looks almost distraught, his dark eyes worried and guilty. “ _We_ didn’t know, Nursey, I wasn’t trying to--”

  
Derek shakes his head. “I’m not saying you did it on purpose,” he says. “Just...You guys have already been together for so long, it’s not weird that you’d automatically look to each other first. It just...it sucked, I guess.”

 

“Because it’s not fair to you,” Caitlin says. She turns her hand in his so that she can grip onto him properly. “We’ll do better.” She pauses, realizes what she said, and then amends. “ _I’ll_ do better. And Chris’ll do better. The _we_ is all of us, not the two of us.” She runs her thumb over Derek’s knuckles. “I mean. If you still want it to be all of us.”

 

Derek reaches out with his free hand and tucks a few strands of hair behind her ear. “If you still want me.”

 

“Duh,” Chris says. He leans across the boards, pauses expectantly, and at Derek’s smile, presses a kiss to his cheekbone. “You’re amazing and patient and special,” he says, with the heartfelt certainty that Caitlin loves about him. “Who wouldn’t want you, Nursey?”

 

A barely visible flush touches Derek’s cheeks, just the slightest darkening of his skin. “Jesus, Chowder,” he says, ducking his head the way he always does when someone he cares about compliments him. It’s so far from his usual chill that it makes Caitlin smile, and she leans over to kiss his other cheek.

 

“Come home,” she says.

 

Derek cocks an eyebrow. “In a rush, Farms?”

 

Caitlin waggles her brows back at him. “Isn’t the only up side of fighting that you get to have makeup sex?”

 

Chris snorts, but Derek laughs. “Let me clean up these pucks and grab a shower,” he says. “I’ll meet you outside the locker room in fifteen?”

 

“Scrub hard,” Caitlin says, widening her eyes in faux-innocence. Derek rolls his eyes and tugs her ponytail.

 

“Control your thirst, Farmer,” he says dryly, but then grins and leans across the boards to kiss her. It’s sweet and warm and she closes her eyes, getting up on her tiptoes to deepen it, and Derek bites gently at her bottom lip as he pulls away. Next to her, Chris clears his throat pointedly and puckers his lips, and Derek’s laugh is real this time as he kisses him, too. Chris’s cheeks are flushed when they part, and Derek brushes his hair back. “Am I dismissed now?”

 

“Hate to see you go, love to watch you leave,” Chris says. Derek makes a face, but drops another kiss to Chris’s nose, grabbing his stick and skating back towards the net to collect the pucks scattered inside the goal. Chris _does_ watch him, his eyes shamelessly fixed on Derek’s back and legs, and Caitlin snorts, elbowing.

 

“Now who’s thirsty,” she teases.

 

“Still you,” he says immediately, and then grins, leaning over to kiss her. His lips are soft against hers, and she smiles into it. “Come on. Let’s head around to the locker room.”

 

Derek meets them twenty minutes later, his damp curls mussed under his snapback. Caitlin takes advantage of him losing the few inches the skates gave him by jumping up into his arms, and he catches her easily, not even staggering. He smells like Old Spice body wash and more the more expensive cologne she knows he keeps in his locker, and the two scents blend together into something warm and enticing, and she kisses his neck, just under his jaw. “Down, girl,” he says, but his voices is fond and there’s a smile in his eyes when he sets her back on her feet.

 

She laces her fingers through his. “Well, I got a hug from Chris earlier,” she counters. “Just making sure I stayed balanced.”

 

“Caity’s all about balance,” Chris says solemnly, though his eyes are sparkling. “Very equal opportunity.”

 

“It’s rude to chirp your girlfriend,” she tells him. “Derek, tell him it’s rude.”

 

“Oh, I’m not getting in the middle of this,” Derek says. And then he flushes again, and that’s--oh. Caitlin raises her eyebrows. She’s definitely coming back to that.

 

They keep their conversation light as they head back to the Haus. Derek’s hand is warm in hers, and Chris is in step next to them, his shoulder brushing hers every now and then. She likes the idea of the three of them holding hands together, and they do sometimes, when they walk, but the paths and sidewalks around Samwell are narrow enough that she knows it’s kind of a dick move for them to walk three across.

 

“That’s something they don’t tell you about polyamory,” she says idly, as they turn onto Jason Street, heading towards Frat Row.

 

Derek glances down at her. “What’s that?”

 

“Like, sidewalk etiquette?” She gestures to Chris, who’d fallen briefly behind them to make room for someone else to pass them. “Who has to let go and move so that you can pass other people, and stuff.”

 

Derek hums. “We could make a chart,” he says. “Like a chore wheel.”

 

Chris snorts. “We’ve got a chore wheel in the Haus,” he says. “No one ever uses it. It’s been stuck on ‘Holster cleans the bathrooms’ for like, a month. Not that I’m complaining.”

 

“Maybe it’s a dibs thing,” Caitlin muses. “Like calling shotgun.” She thinks about it. “I feel like there’s a good tumblr post here.”

 

“I knew it,” Derek says, a lament in his voice. “She’s using us for notes and fame, C.”

 

“Thank goodness we have each other to soothe our broken hearts,” Chris says, ducking around Caitlin to loop his arm through Derek’s.

 

She rolls her eyes. “See if I try to solve life’s big problems with you two,” she says, and gets a laugh from Chris and a kiss pressed to her hair from Derek.

 

The easy banter holds them all the way through the front door of the Haus and up into Chris’s room. Chris flips the lock while Caitlin flops down onto Chris’s bed, kicking off her sneakers and pulling her sweatshirt over her head. Derek drops his bag on the floor next to Caitlin’s and leans against the wall to unlace his tennis shoes, but some of the hesitation has slipped back into his expression. Caitlin sits up.

 

“Hey,” she says. Derek glances at her. “We don’t have to have sex right now. You know that, right? I tease a lot, but like--you know you never have to--”

 

His face relaxes. “Of course I know that,” he says. He takes Chris’s hand and tugs him with him as he joins Caitlin on the bed. Chris climbs up next to him, slipping a hand over the back of his neck and rubbing, and a little more of the tension visibly leaves Derek’s shoulders. “I just, um. I wanted--and I didn’t know if I could ask, and--”

 

Caitlin raises her eyebrows but reaches for his hand, lacing their fingers together. “You can ask for anything,” she says.

 

Derek runs his thumb idly over the back of her hand. He’s quiet for a moment, and then clears his throat. “I, uh.” He looks down at Chris’s bedspread, like he doesn’t want to look at them when he says whatever he’s going to say, and then, in a rush, says, “I--I want to be between you.” His cheeks darken slightly, but Caitlin’s already felt her jaw drop, heard Chris’s sharp intake of breath. “I mean, I want…”

 

He trails off, but Caitlin’s body is moving practically without her permission. She pulls her hand free from his so she can climb into his lap, her knees straddling his hips, and he looks nervously up at her as she cups his face in her hands. “Baby,” she says, a little breathless at the idea. “Baby, of _course_.”

 

She leans down to kiss him and he meets her easily, his lips parting under hers. A warm hand trails over her back and she recognizes Chris’s touch through her t-shirt, the drift of his fingertips gentle and leaving a tingling anticipation in their wake. Derek’s hands curl over her hips, broad and steadying, and she deepens the kiss, squeezing her knees against his hips.

 

“Caity,” Chris says, his voice close, and she tears her mouth away from Derek’s and turns her face into Chris’s, not even needing to open her eyes.

 

They kiss differently, her boys. Chris’s kisses always feel like a cinnamon candy or a shot of Fireball--sweet first but with a heat that builds up and stays, the slightest lingering bite of teeth that always keeps her on her toes. Derek’s are gentler, warmer; he likes long, slow kisses that steal her breath and leave her gasping.

 

Between the two of them, it doesn’t take long for her to be warm and flushed and shaking. Chris gets off the bed to stand behind her, working her t-shirt up gently until she untwines her arms from Derek’s neck to let him pull it over her head. Derek ducks his head down to kiss over the tops of her breasts over her bra, and she shivers, reaching back to unclasp it. He laughs against her skin when he feels it come loose, bringing one hand up to pull it away and drop it to the floor before he cups one in his hand, slipping his mouth around her nipple. Caitlin arches up and whimpers, and Derek laughs again. “Der,” she whines, and then whips her head around to look at Chris. “Chris, _do something_.”

 

“I am doing something,” he says, his cheeks flushed and his mouth curved into the smile that he almost always has on in bed, a half-grin caught somewhere between affection and delight. He pulls his shirt over his head and she has half a second to appreciate the sight of his abs before he’s climbing back on the bed and settling himself behind Derek. “Arms up, Nursey,” he says.

 

Derek lifts his head and his arms at the same time, and Chris pulls his shirt up and off, tossing it to the floor. “Good,” Chris says, bending to kiss Derek’s neck, and Caitlin allows herself a satisfied grin when Derek shudders under the touch. “Now put Caity down on the bed and get your jeans off.”

 

Derek huffs a laugh. “Giving orders now, C?”

 

“If I let you make the rules you’d kiss all day and never go anywhere,” Chris says, which, knowing Derek, isn’t actually wrong. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that on principle,” he adds, kissing Derek’s jaw again. Derek hums. “But you did say you wanted…”

 

“Yeah, okay,” Derek says, easy and agreeable. He slips his arms around Caitlin’s waist and she has time to shriek out a “hey wait!” before he stands up and then deposits her down on her back, perfectly centered on Chris’s pillows.

 

She makes a face at him. “Rude,” she says, bumping his shoulder with her knee. “You’re supposed to warn me.”

 

“Chris warned you,” he says easily. He drops his hands to the button on her jeans, then pauses. “Okay?”

 

“Yes, please,” she says, lifting her hips, and he laughs, unfastening them and sliding them over her legs along with her underwear, pausing by her ankles to get her socks off as well. She loops her legs around his waist to pull him back down and feels one foot make contact with something solid, even as Chris yelps in surprise. She picks her head up. “Sorry, baby! Are you okay?”

 

Chris’s head pops over Derek’s shoulder, his grin wry. “Fine,” he says. “Hazard of three people on a twin bed. It’s okay, you didn’t kick anything important.”

 

“Oh, good,” she says. She wriggles a little, until Derek looks back at her, one eyebrow cocked. “You’re wearing too many clothes,” she tells him.

 

He laughs. “Can’t have that,” he says, and slips out from between her legs to get his jeans off. Chris snuggles into his place, already down to his boxers, and drapes himself over her. Caitlin hums happily as he kisses her, his chest warm and heavy over her, and she rocks into the press of his dick through his boxers. He bites at her lip and runs a hand down over her hip, then dips lower, slipping his fingers between her legs and just barely ghosting over her crease.

 

“Oh.” The sound she makes is breathier than she intends, but she rocks up into his touch. “Chris, please.” He pulls his hand away, and she whines. “Mean,” she complains.

 

“I got you, sweetheart,” Derek says, climbing back onto the bed and gently nudging Chris over. “C’s gonna have his hands busy anyway.” He gives Chris a significant look, and Chris’s entire face goes a shade pinker.

 

“Oh, fuck,” he breathes, and pulls Derek into a kiss, deeper and a little messier than the few they’ve shared already. Caitlin watches, running her fingertips over Derek’s jaw, as Chris trails a hand down to slip under the waistband of Derek’s boxer briefs, and Derek shivers, rocking forward into his touch. “Fuck, okay, yeah,” Chris says when he pulls away, breathless, his dark brown eyes almost all pupil. “Lemme--okay.”

 

He leans over to the drawers that he uses as a bedside table, tugging the top one open and fumbling for lube and gloves and condoms while Caitlin trails kisses over Derek’s jaw and neck. Derek shifts to tug his underwear off and Caitlin barely gets a look at his dick, hard and shining at the head, before he’s dropping down to make sure he’s not too close to her core without a condom, kissing down her midsection as he goes. “Boo,” she says. “Too far, I can’t kiss you from here.”

 

“I’ll kiss you,” he says, eyes glinting mischievously, and bends his head to make good on the words, his tongue dipping between her legs. She twitches violently enough that her hips jerk off the bed, and he laughs.

 

“It sucks so much that taking pictures of this is super irresponsible,” Chris says, his voice almost a sigh. Caitlin forces her eyes open and looks up at him, finds him looking at them with flushed cheeks and dark, wanting eyes. She whimpers a little as Derek’s tongue traces wet lines over her folds, and Chris shudders visibly. “Fuck,” he says. He pulls a glove on and picks up the lube, pouring some onto his fingers and then curving his other hand over Derek’s hip. “Up, babe,” he says.

 

Derek doesn’t stop with his mouth, just gets up on his knees, and Caitlin feels her breath start to come more shallowly. Chris’s hand disappears between Derek’s legs, and Derek moans against her, a high, needy sound. “There you go, easy,” Chris murmurs, bending to kiss the small of Derek’s back, and Derek’s entire body shudders.

 

This is still a little new for them. Derek’s fingered Chris once while Caitlin watched, breathless, and Chris and Derek have had sex like this twice, once with her there, once without her. “It’s not really the smartest during the season,” Derek had admitted, after the first time. “But I like it, so. As long as we watch our timing, it’s fine.”

 

Caitlin’s not particularly interested in having either of them near _her_ ass, but she’s more than happy to let this work for them. It was certainly hot as fuck to _watch_ , and the second time, Derek had eaten her out while Chris fucked him, and the whole thing had been over for all of them almost embarrassingly quickly.

 

Now, Derek’s breathing is already shaky, his hand trembling where it’s curled over her hip. He still has his mouth on her, his lips soft and hot around her clit and keeping her wet and trembling, but he has to pull away every few seconds to gasp at whatever Chris is doing, and after a few minutes, Caitlin gives into curiosity.

 

“Hey,” she says. Derek looks up at her, his pupils blown and the bottom half of his face wet, and she shivers at the sight. “Um, can I...Could I help Chris?”

 

Chris makes a punched-out sound and says “ _Fuck_ , Caity,” and Derek actually whines, nodding. She slides up, out from under Derek’s torso, and he catches himself on his elbows as she shifts to settle next to him, leaning over to look. Chris has two fingers inside him, moving in slow, careful strokes, and she can hear the wet slide of the lube.

 

“Oh wow, okay,” she breathes. She runs her hand over the smooth skin of Derek’s back, and catches the way his muscles tremble under her touch.

 

“Here.” Chris hands her a glove with his free hand, and she pulls it on, then picks up the lube. “Use more than you think you need.”

 

“I’m not gonna break,” Derek says, his voice muffled slightly.

 

Caitlin peeks down, and finds him pressing his face into his folded arms. “Baby,” she says. “No one’s gonna break you, but we don’t want to hurt you, either.” She pours a bunch of lube onto her fingers, taking care to slick her first finger more than the others, and then glances at Chris. “What do I…”

 

“Here.” He takes her wrist and guides her hand between Derek’s cheeks--Derek makes a sound that borders on a whimper--until she can feel where Chris’s first two fingers disappear into him. She catches her breath and traces her finger against his rim, carefully, treasuring Derek’s sharp intake of breath.

 

“You good, sweetie?” she murmurs.

 

Derek reaches a hand back, groping for her shoulder, and she leans into the touch. He squeezes. “Please,” he says, and she presses her finger carefully into him. She’s not sure what she expected but it feels different, much, _much_ tighter than when she fingers herself, and the feeling of Chris’s fingers next to hers adds a layer of intensity that takes her breath away.

 

“Oh my god,” she murmurs. She presses in deeper, still careful, and Derek moans, high and desperate, pressing back against their touch. “ _Derek_ , oh my god. Does it feel good?”

 

“Yeah,” he says, breathy. “Yeah, it’s good, it’s--” Chris holds her wrist still but moves his own fingers, in and out, and Derek’s voice breaks into a sharp whine. “Oh _fuck_ , please.”

 

“We got you,” Chris says. He keeps his hand moving, his fingers sliding against Caitlin’s where she’s holding herself steady, and she can _feel_ the flutter of Derek’s muscles around her finger. “You look so good right now, Der.”

 

“Fuck,” Derek says. “Fuck, _fuck_ , I--oh _shit_ \--” He gasps suddenly. “Fuck, C, stop.”

  
Chris freezes. “Are you okay?”

 

Derek laughs, shaking and almost desperate. “I’m okay I’m okay I’m okay, but you gotta stop or I’m gonna come right now.”

 

Caitlin’s mouth goes dry. She knew Derek liked this, but she didn’t know how much. Then again, they’ve both fingered her to coming, maybe she shouldn’t be surprised. “You want Chris inside you?” she asks, her own voice coming out shakier than she expected. “That’s what you want instead? Not to come like this?”

 

“Both of you,” Derek says, twisting to look over his shoulder. His hair’s a wild mess, his eyes searching hers. “Please, Cait, I want--”

 

She leans down to drop a kiss to the dip in his spine. “Okay, baby, okay.” She pulls her finger out carefully, the lube letting her slide easily, and she strips off the glove and drops it into the trash can near the bed, grabbing a condom as she moves back around. “Let me in, honey.”

 

Derek sits back--it must push him down onto Chris’s fingers, still inside him, because he shudders and gasps--and she climbs back to the spot she’d abandoned, against the pillows. She tears the condom open and rolls it down onto him, keeping her grip as loose as she can before she lies back. Derek leans down over her, kissing her deep and long, and she lifts her hips up. The head of his dick slides against her, between her folds where she’s already wet and wanting, and she pulls back from the kiss.

 

“Come on,” she coaxes. “Come here.”

 

Derek whispers, “Fuck, okay,” and guides himself into her with a soft groan. She can’t help her answering sigh as he fills her, the long, slow slide of him reaching everything she wants touched. “Fuck, Caity,” Derek breathes when he’s all the way in, his forehead heavy against hers.

 

“Yeah,” she whispers. He rolls his hips gently, the angle gorgeous and lighting her up, and she whimpers. “Oh, fuck, fuck, that’s so good.” She looks over his shoulder at Chris. “Come on,” she says. “Middle, he said middle.”

 

Chris’s lips are parted, and it takes him a moment to nod. He pulls his fingers free--Derek groans into her neck--and then grabs the other condom. “Gonna go slow, okay?” he tells Derek, curling one hand over his hip.

 

Derek laughs, breathless. “If you go much slower it’s gonna be over before you start,” he says, and Chris laughs back, half a whine in his voice.

 

She watches both of their faces as Chris presses in, determined to commit them to memory. Chris’s expression is tight with concentration and care, his lips parted and a long, trembling groan leaving him, and Derek closes his eyes tightly, breathing shakily even as a look of almost desperate joy comes over his face. “Oh my god,” Caitlin breathes, cupping Derek’s face in her hands. “You’re so beautiful. You’re both so gorgeous, oh my god.”

 

“Fuck, Cait,” Derek chokes. Chris moves his hips, the motion pushing Derek deeper into her, and Caitlin can’t help her own high whimper. “Oh, fuck. _Fuck_. I’m not--I’m not gonna last, I’m sorry, I--”

 

She shushes him, lifting her head to kiss his cheeks, his jaw, his lips. “You’re so good,” she says, breathless. “It’s okay, you feel so good, I’m right here with you, baby, _please_.”

 

“God,” Chris says, reverent, and she can hear the strain in his voice, too. It reminds her that this is only the third time he’s done this, and she shivers, thinking about how tight and hot Derek had been around her finger. She tries to imagine what that must feel like around a dick, when Chris has told her that being inside her is hotter and sweeter than anything in the world, and finds herself whimpering.

 

It takes a few thrusts to work things out but they quickly let Chris set the pace, his thrusts rocking Derek into Caitlin and Derek shaking between them. They’re being too loud and she knows it, but the hockey fines can wait--there’s more intimacy here than she thinks she’s ever felt. She stretches one hand past Derek’s shoulder, and Chris catches it in his, lacing their fingers together and holding tight, tight enough that she can feel his pulse pounding between them.

 

His next thrust is hard enough to make her cry out, and Derek gasps, dropping his mouth to bite Caitlin’s lip and then kiss her, hard. Caitlin wraps her free hand around the back of his neck, her legs tight around his hips, rocking up against him as much as she can.

 

“I’m so close,” she whispers against his lips. “Derek, Der, I’m--you feel so good, honey, please.”

 

Derek doesn’t say anything, just groans against her jaw and shifts to slip a hand between them, his thumb pressing against her clit. It’s a tight, hard pressure, and he starts moving in figure eights over her hood, every thrust bringing her closer. “Oh my god,” she gasps. “Oh my god oh my god, please please _please_ \--”

  
Chris makes a sharp, frantic sound, picking up his pace, and Caitlin looks up at him, taking in the flush on his cheeks and the way he’s biting his lip and knows he’s close. “Derek,” she breathes. “Der, come on.”

 

She’s not sure why but it feels important that he come first, that he knows they’ve _got_ him, that he’s important and loved and surrounded and cared for. He lifts his head and looks at her, his green eyes intense and so full of love it should scare her but it doesn’t, and he whispers her name, his voice trembling. His arms start to shake where he’s down on his forearms, and she cups his jaw in one hand, coaxes him into a kiss.

 

“I want to feel you come, come on,” she whispers against his lips, and his reaction is immediate and beautiful. His whole body stiffens and he kisses her deeply even as he breaks Chris’s rhythm to bury himself deeper into her, and she _feels_ the pulse that goes through him, the groan he muffles into her lips.

 

It’s not enough to make her come, but it’s enough to get her up to the edge, and Chris keeps moving, his thrusts getting harder, and the way they keep pushing Derek into her is enough. She presses her hips up into the last thrust and comes with a frantic cry that she barely remembers to press into Derek’s shoulder, biting down into his muscle, and she feels the shudder that passes through his body when Chris thrusts in one more time and goes over the edge, too. He comes hard but quiet, curling over and clinging to Derek’s hip and her hand, and it’s enough to make Derek shake again and whimper.

 

She’s not sure if it’s an aftershock or if it’s almost a second orgasm, but it’s beautiful, the way he shudders, whimpering into her mouth. Chris must be able to feel it, because he keeps moving, slow and deep, until Derek finally chokes out, “stop, baby, please,” and he stills, breathing hard.

 

They’re all disgusting, sweat-smeared and swollen-lipped. Caitlin’s hair feels soaked and she’s sure her ponytail is a tangled mess, and Derek’s curls are everywhere, messy from where he’d been pressing his head into the sheets while Chris fingered him. Chris’s whole face is damp with sweat, his chest shining.

 

Caitlin breaks the silence as soon as her voice makes it back to her throat from wherever it fucked off to after she came her brains out. “Fuck,” she says, and it still comes out weak. “I... _fuck_.”

 

Derek laughs breathlessly, his breath hot against her neck. “Yeah.” He shivers a little. “C? Can you…”

 

“Yeah, yeah.” Chris looks a little dazed, but he pulls out, dropping a kiss to Derek’s shoulder as he does. Derek makes a face-- _yeah_ , Caitlin thinks, _I know the feeling_ \--and then kisses Caitlin’s jaw as he pulls out of her, sitting back on his knees.

 

The boys make quick work of the condoms--less quick on Derek’s part; his hands are shaking so much it takes him two tries to knot it--and then flop down. Derek ends up back in the middle, and Caitlin reaches across him for Chris’s hand, lacing their fingers together again. She kisses Derek’s shoulder and then puts her head on his chest, ignoring the sweat and paying attention to the way she can feel his heartbeat instead. It’s still racing a little, but it slows as she rests her head there, and she hums contentedly when he shifts to put an arm around her shoulders, his fingers toying with her hair.

 

“You’re not extra, you know,” she says after a few moments of listening to their breathing. “It’s not...it’s not me-and-Chris, and you.”

 

Derek loops her ponytail around his finger. It pulls a little, definitely tangled. “I know,” he says quietly. “I was...I felt like I was, but that’s not necessarily accurate, just because I felt it.”

 

Chris shifts on Derek’s other side, propping himself on an elbow and resting his head in his palm. “But you know it’s all of us?” His eyes are serious, despite the way his bangs are still sticking to his forehead.

 

“You might have to remind me sometimes,” Derek admits, looking up at him. His eyes are soft, but there’s no worry in them, no tension. Caitlin smiles. She likes him best like this, relaxed and happy. She wants to keep him like this, always. “Is that okay?”

 

“Baby,” Caitlin says. He turns to look at her, and she leans over to kiss him, light and gentle. “It’s part of the deal.”

 

His eyes crinkle at the corners. “Doesn’t seem so fair,” he says, but there’s a faint, teasing note in his voice. “What do you get out of it?”

 

“Dork,” Chris says, fond. He bends over to kiss Derek’s cheek. “Isn’t it obvious?” Derek raises an eyebrow, curious, and Chris smiles, squeezing Caitlin’s hand.

 

She squeezes back. “Dummy,” she says, and kisses Derek’s other cheek. “We get you.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> 99 problems and this ot3 is 98 of them, i regret nothing
> 
> for more nonsense like this, i'm on tumblr: @geniusorinsanity


End file.
